2014

New Year's Eve is one of the most magical times of the year, but I've never been sure which year New Year's belongs to. I suppose until the clock strikes twelve and the ball drops it is still the year we're all so ready to rid ourselves of - that would make sense anyway. When the "Happy New Years!" wishes start rolling in and our cell phones all stop working, that is what I consider property of the new year... What about you? 

There is just something about New Year's that deludes us into believing that this year things will be different, exciting, new, revolutionary. Whether you will be ringing in 2014 in the quiet of your own home, maybe even sleeping right through it, or spending it with thousands of other people in a place like New York City, Miami, New Orleans, or San Francisco - it's hard not to get swept up into the optimism that only comes with a new year.

Changing the calendar, training your brain to write the new year instead of the old (although, if you're anything like me this will realistically take six months to accomplish), and as always... Resolutions. A resolution is defined as "a firm decision to do or not to do something." Gosh, that sounds so much easier than it is to actually follow through with, doesn't it? I always find myself setting New Year's resolutions, and this year is no exception to that rule. With January 1st, 2014 just a mere four days way, I have found myself in a little bit of a predicament... Just what is it this year that I will firmly resolve to do or not do?

In 2013, I have done more soul searching than I probably have in the prior eighteen years from 1994-2012, and I couldn't be happier about the person I'm becoming. New years are seen as a new beginning, a time to start over, and for the first time I don't feel that I need to start over at the beginning. My resolutions have morphed and transformed over time, and gone are the days that they consisted simply of "Be nicer to people", "Work out more", or even "Stop eating junk food."

These days, I understand the importance of realistic resolutions. I am goal-oriented, and it works best for me to have flexible and dynamic goals and resolutions I know that I can work to attain, or I'll never even try. My suggestion for you is to find out just the kind of person you are, and find out what works for you. I mean, maybe you do have the willpower to just say "I'm going to the gym more," and go out and do just that. As you'll see through my resolutions for 2014, it's going to take some time to be able to say I kept my resolutions. Maybe I won't be able to fulfill all of them, but you can bet your last dollar I'm going to do my best.

1. Work to be an overall healthier person

Health, to me, takes many shapes. This resolution encompasses my desire to start working out more, cut soda out of my diet as much as possible, and even work toward better mental health. I word this particular resolution the way I do, because by having more facets to work toward, if I miss a day at the gym, or suck down a Diet Coke, I won't be tempted to give up on it. This one is pretty generic, but in the end, who doesn't want to be happy and healthy?

2. Let myself be overcome with the grace of southern charm

"Patience is a virtue." We've all heard it, but it's time for me to take it to heart. I've been working very hard the past few months to be more patient and understanding about things I can't change, but it will always be a work in progress with room for improvement. Part of this also involves working toward being less shallow. I always have, and always will, loathe being associated with that word - but, I'm a female and I'm honest. We've ALL been shallow, whether you care to admit it or not. I want to change my outlook, and see the beauty in everything, and everyone. 

3. Cut ties with my need for social media

I'm Generation-Y. Social media is our kryptonite. I'm tired of sitting at dinner with my friends, and not talking to any of them because we all (myself included, regrettably) are buried too deeply in our iPhones to acknowledge the presence of each other. On a trip with a group of my best friends, almost all of our phones died, and it was the strangest thing... We actually.. Enjoyed each others' company? Going deeper with this one, it kind of ties back into #1. Social media causes unnecessary stress and has been known to bring major blows to my self-image. I accept my flaws, but I also know that no one can make me feel inferior without my consent (Thanks, Eleanor), and it's time to stop consenting. 

4.  Keep a journal

I'm a writer, I'm a feeler, I'm a nostalgic. I won't hoodwink myself into truly believing I will write in it religiously, feverishly scribbling each and every aspect of my days each night by a glowing candle. As romantic as that sounds to my inner scribe - just no. I do, however, want to someday be able to look back at these years and remember the little things, the nights and the friends and the experiences that fall just below the horizon. 

5.  Be more honest with my feelings

This is a HUGE thing for me. For entirely too long, I was a pushover. For those of you who know me pretty well, you probably think this is the biggest joke I've ever told... It's not a joke, there's no punchline. For as feisty and headstrong as I am, I'm non-confrontational to the max. The past few months I have come around to this fact, and have become a little more assertive about my feelings. I've lost "friends" and other people close to me because they felt I changed, when really I was just standing up for myself. Whether it be family, friends, work, strangers, it's time for me to make my voice heard. I'm tired of what if, and I'm in need of some oh well, some at least I tried. 

There they are, my five resolutions for 2014. I encourage you to set some resolutions for yourself, ones that are worthwhile and meaningful to you - not anyone else. Don't just ask 2014 to be the best year yet, go out and make it the best for yourself. It will be worth it, I promise. 

Date A Girl Who Reads

Recently, there has been a major influx of reasons why you should "date a girl who..." - with the most popular being "Date A Girl Who Reads."

I've seen the Youtube video, read the Elite Daily article, and have been in love with the original blog post for months. My only question is... Since when is intellect considered a prize quality in the eyes of society? Did everyone finally open their eyes? We've been here all along, y'all. Girls have been reading, and wearing glasses, and enjoying worlds you could never begin to imagine for centuries - it's about time we finally get the credit we're due. 

Everyone else has their reasons why you should date a girl who reads, and I have mine.
A girl who reads can change your life, you just have to be willing to let her. 

A girl who reads will look for the best in everyone, especially in you. She will know that there is always a hidden side, a different perspective that you may not see from the pages of a book, but that you must read between the lines to find. She has fallen in love with "bad guys" and villains, and she knows that the hardest to love are the ones who need love the most. 

A girl who reads will challenge you. She more than likely has a feisty side and a vernacular to match. Her vocabulary is rich and fulfilled, and she is always looking for a new place to use her favorite words. The fact that "selfie" was voted the Word of the Year in 2013 disgusts her, because of the multitude of words slipping away from our language each and every day. She will argue with you, and you will be thrown for a loop because you will never know what is going to come out of her mouth next. 

A girl who reads is the strongest person you could ever imagine meeting. She has had her heart broken, and probably more times than you can begin to imagine. She has a heart that has been torn to pieces by the heartbreak, death, and misfortune of her favorite characters. She has been ridiculed and taunted for her love of the classics, for burying herself in Chaucer and Faulkner and Tolstoy. She has gone through hell beside Odysseus, fought in Dumbledore's Army, and been to the depths of Dante's Inferno - and lived to tell the tale. 

A girl who reads will love you with a passion you can never begin to describe. She has thrown books across the room in anger, and ran after them to be sure she did not ruin the binding. She has devoured stories spanning hundreds of pages in a matter of hours.  She has fallen in love with Mr. Darcy, learned magic with Hermione, and lived vicariously through Jay Gatsby. She has cried and yelled and held grudges at fictional characters whose names you would never even recognize. She still has copies of her favorite childhood stories, the words she teethed on, and anxiously awaits the day she can share them with children of her own. 

A girl who reads can show you worlds beyond your wildest imagination. She can take you to Aslan's Narnia, to Anna Karenina's Russia, to Thoreau's Walden Pond. She has dogeared pages and highlighted quotes that remind her of who she is, and where she belongs, for the times that the real world seems like a distant mystery. 

A girl who reads is a girl worth loving, a girl worth waiting for. A girl who reads is worth losing for a few hours, because of what she will have to offer when you get her back. A girl who reads has an asset beyond the physical, she has a lifelong appeal to offer. A girl who reads is full of confidence, courage, sincerity, and self respect. 

A girl who reads deserves someone who can bewitch her, body and soul. She deserves a man who is willing to share the worlds she explores with her, someone who will hold her when she cries over "To Kill A Mockingbird," who will let her yell and scream at Snape. A girl who reads needs someone to love her who realizes that he will never be her whole world, because she is in love with so many different worlds. She needs, and deserves, someone who understands this - and loves her all the more for it. 

"Why don't you tell me that 'If the girl had been worth having, she'd have waited for you?' No, sir, the girl really worth having won't wait for anybody."

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

If I Could Write A Letter To Me

I'm a huge country music fan, and if you know me even the slightest, the fact that I even had to say that probably made you shake your head and laugh a little under your breath. I'm the girl who knows every word to almost any country song you throw my way - from Hank Williams to Eric Church, Patsy Cline to Miranda Lambert. There's one song that, while I used to get annoyed as hell when it first came out, resonates a little closer to home now - "Letter To Me" by Brad Paisley. Cliché as they come, I know. But when you think about it, there's a few songs kind of along the same lines.. "The House That Built Me" by my idol Miranda Lambert, "Young" by Kenny Chesney, the list goes on. We all seem to be able to agree on one thing, if nothing else - we all wish we knew then what we knew now (except maybe Garth Brooks looking back on "The Dance").

I've been doing a lot of self-reflecting recently, and realized that there is a song that maybe fits my life more than I ever realized.. You can find it here if you're interested. Which you should, because it is a damn good song. Anyway, it has always been so hard for me to accept that hindsight is 20/20 because I am such a perfectionist, and I hate to be wrong. Which is why "Letter To Me" hits so close to home - if I only knew then what I know now. It got me thinking... I'm only 19 now, so it sounds like 17 was just yesterday. But looking back across the years, I realize I've done more growing in the past two short years than I did in most of my first 17. There are so many things I would tell myself at seventeen, and I sat down to put them into words.


Dear Dallas, 

Seventeen. Senior year. I know right now you feel like you're on top of the world, but at the same time you feel like you're lost with no direction or idea how your life is going to end up. And do you want to know something? That's okay. If I've learned one thing in these past two years, it's that that feeling doesn't exactly go away. It changes, it transforms, it will ebb and it will grow, but it never truly goes away. Live for that feeling. Live for the moments that you can truly let go and just enjoy every second. 

You're a perfectionist. We both know that. But if I can give you one piece of advice, it would be to accept that you can't control every situation - but you can control how you react and how you let it affect you. I recently received one of the greatest compliments I think I ever have; when I was in your shoes it was something I never would have expected to be told, or deserved for that matter. A lady at the courthouse was yelling at me, and after the fact, one of her coworkers praised me and told me that I "stay so sweet under pressure." Anyone who knows you would die of laughter at the thought of someone telling me that, but I swear it's true. I've been working so hard to control my emotions, and a lot of it comes from things I experienced at your age. 

High school hasn't been easy for you. Yeah, I know, it's not easy for anyone and maybe I'm a bit biased, but it really hasn't been a walk in the park for you. You've put up with catty insecure girls, narcissistic boys, and devilish teachers. You've had your heart broken, your dreams crushed, and even some days felt like there was no one in the world who cared. But more than that, you've learned how to put the pieces back together, put a smile on your face, and keep pushing through. That perseverance will take you so far in life, even though I know you're tired of hearing that right now. Just trust me on this one, little darling. Your strength and courage will inspire people that you never imagined, and just knowing that will one day make it worth every second. 

All those trials and tribulations have made you really eager to leave home. Actually... I'm not sure eager is the right word, since you basically had a countdown to college move-in beginning the first day of senior year. You feel like you'll never miss high school, never miss home, never miss a single person you went to high school with. But, some day you will realize that you were luckier than you ever realized. For every person who made your life a living hell, there was one waiting to pick you up when you fell. You will learn to love every single moment of growing up in Small Town, USA, and all the lessons that it taught you that you will carry with you (maybe even share with those citified folk). You'll miss moments of high school. You'll miss bus rides, late night laughs and McDonald's runs, and your senior prom most of all. Senior prom will be one of the best nights of your life, I still haven't had a night to quite make me feel so alive. But have no fear, those people won't let you burn the bridges, and they'll meet you in the middle. Keep them around, you need them more than you know. 

There are some other amazing people in your life that you need to keep around. But, these people are a little bit harder, because they can't physically be with you anymore. Please just promise me that you will never forget that they are with you, every single step of the road. Every peak, every valley, they're right there with you. Hold onto their memories. Hold onto the lessons they taught you. Hold onto the sunshine that they brought into your life, and never let it go. 

People are going to try and stomp on your dreams. Laugh in their faces. No, seriously, laugh in their faces and tell them "watch me." Because you have so much potential and the chance to do amazing things. Don't let them put a doubt in your mind, let it fuel you to work that much harder. There is no satisfaction like proving someone wrong about what you can do. 

Things are going to change soon, as they always do. Embrace these changes, and let them shape you. But please don't lose sight of who you are, and if you do? Be brave enough to walk through the darkness to find that light and sparkle again. You'll never be walking alone. Plus, you're one of the strongest people I have ever met, you're a real badass. Don't be afraid to laugh too loudly, or love too quickly. Those words don't even make any sense, because there is no such thing. 

As much as I wish you knew all of these things, I know the importance of you learning it on your own time. You'll learn these lessons well, and you'll make me proud. I have all the faith in the world in you. I'll be seeing you soon (aka the blink of an eye), but until then..

xoxo

I Am Old Glory

I was blessed to grow up in a school where Veteran's Day was one of the most solemn days of the year. We were excused from classes for a mandatory assembly, that many people considered a free pass. A few hours to goof off, hang out with our friends, and be free from schoolwork for awhile. While some continued to hold that mindset when "Taps" was played and the flags were presented, many were drawn in by the pomp and circumstance, and were reminded of just what this day is all about - why we were gathered together, with our teachers, classmates, and revered members of both our Armed Forces and our community. One of my favorite parts of our ceremony was the candle lighting, where a candle was lit for each branch of this nation's military. I was lucky enough to be a part of the candle lighting for three years, representing the United States Air Force, Marines, and Army, respectively. 

While the assembly did not take long to bring me to tears, it took others a little longer. The one thing that could usually be counted on to silence the room and make us all shed a few tears was the reading of a poem. A poem that, whether you have known a veteran or not, you could relate to on a very personal level. A poem that reminds us of the answer to the question we sometimes find ourselves asking, "Do these soldiers even know what they're fighting for?" 

The answer is yes. Yes, they do. 
They are fighting for me, for you, and for the namesake of this poem - Old Glory. 



"I Am Old Glory"

I am the flag of the United States of America.
My name is "Old Glory".
I fly atop the world's tallest buildings.
I stand watch in America's halls of justice.
I fly majestically over institutions of learning.
I stand guard with power in the world.
Look up and see me.

I stand for peace, honor, truth and justice.
I stand for freedom.
I am confident.
I am arrogant.
I am proud.

When I am flown with my fellow banners,
My head is a little higher,
My colors a little truer.

I bow to no one!
I am recognized all over the world.
I am worshipped -- I am saluted.
I am loved -- I am revered.
I am respected -- and I am feared.

I have fought in every battle of every war
for more then 200 years.
I was flown at Valley Forge, Gettysburg,
Shiloh and Appomattox.
I was there at San Juan Hill,
the trenches of France,
in the Argonne Forest, Anzio, Rome
and the beaches of Normandy, Guam,
Okinawa, Korea, and Vietnam.
I was there. I led my troops.
I was dirty, battle-weary and tired,
but my soldiers cheered me
And I was proud.

I have been burned, torn and trampled
on the streets of countries I have helped set free.
It does not hurt, for I am invincible.

I have been soiled upon, burned, torn
and trampled on the streets of my country.
And when it's by those whom I've served in battle -- it hurts.
But I shall overcome -- for I am strong.

I have slipped the bonds of Earth
and stood watch over the uncharted frontiers of space
from my vantage point on the moon.
I have borne silent witness
to all of America's finest hours.
But my finest hours are yet to come.

When I am torn into strips
and used as bandages
for my wounded comrades on the battlefield,
When I am flown at half-mast to honor my soldier,
Or when I lie in the trembling arms
of a grieving parent at the grave of their fallen son or daughter,
I am proud.

My name is "Old Glory," long may I wave. 



Today we remember, we thank, we pray, and we love. 
God bless. 

1 in 7.04 Billion

There are those old friends, we all have them, that we can't imagine our lives without. The ones who know us better than we know ourselves, even though most days we have a hard time admitting it. (Or, to be honest, if you're anything like me? That's every day. Even when they prove us wrong yet again. I'm always right... Right?)

The truth is that these people know us so well because they've made us who we are. Yeah, I went there. I said it. We all have ourselves fooled into believing that the choices we make and the things we do are the sole things that define us. I all too often fall into this camp of thought myself, guilty as charged. But when I stop to think - really think - about it all,  I know that this isn't the case. Not even the slightest. Sure, the things we do define us. I mean, you decide whether you want to go to college, how you dress, the "extracurriculars" that you find yourself involved with. When it comes down to the nitty gritty about who we are though, these aren't the things that really truly make us who we are. I like to believe that Chuck Palahniuk hit the nail on the head when he said, "Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known."

I know that I, for one, am made up of the people I hold close, the people I love, and the people I have loved. I have my father's tongue and temper, my mother's intuition, my grandfather's love for fresh air and country roads. I got my sense of humor from my childhood best friend, and my nasty right hook from a boy I dated in high school. My knack for wrestling and sassy sense of confidence came along from my older, bigger, and all boy cousins, which landed me a broken nose from a football game and a boy who turned out to be one of my very best friends. My gracefulness comes from 15 years of dance class, and the four wonderful instructors who taught me more than just dance.

Today, I was having a heart-to-heart with one of these "parts of me." An old friend, someone who truly does know me better than I know myself. We've been the best of friends, we've wanted to claw each others eyes out, but through it all we've been there for each other. He was there when my boyfriend of almost two and a half years broke my heart, when I got my first acceptance letter to college, and every time I need a shoulder to cry on. We don't see each other nearly as much as we used to, but he always knows just what I need to hear - whether it's what I want to hear or not. Today I was having a rough morning, and was just really down on myself for no real reason. I'm sick and tired of my crutches, of feeling like I can't do everything that I want to do because I'm temporarily disabled. I found myself saying to him,

"I'm nothing special.. No, not really. I'm a stereotypical blonde sorority girl who can't seem to get rid of her small town ways, no matter how hard she tries, and maybe wants to go to law school someday. There's millions of girls just like me."

He was quick to remind me of all of the things that set me apart. My sense of humor, my compassion, my genuine love for life. It's nice to be reminded every once in a while that we are special, that everything we do isn't all for nothing. That it's not just the new and current people in our lives who are proud of the people we are and are becoming, but the old ones, the tried and true, are as well. I am so incredibly blessed and gracious to have people like that in my life, the ones always ready and willing to pick me up when I stumble and fall.

The people who remind me that maybe I'm not the skinniest girl in the room, but I can throw hay bales off a trailer, give my friends piggy back rides, and hold the weight of the world on my shoulders.  The people who make me believe in myself, even when my confidence is wavering and the rain is pouring down. The people who made me into who I am, and continue to shape me each and every single day.

The people who remind me that, while it may seem like I am just another blonde sorority girl from a small-town, that I'm one of a kind. That I am unique, and that I should appreciate and flaunt it. The people who remind me that I am loved, and oh so deeply. That no matter what happens, tomorrow is always a new day, there is always a new place to see and new people to meet..

The people who make me believe that I may be one in 7.04 billion - but I am one.

Dear Generation-Y

My dearest Generation-Y,

I want to start out by telling you how incredibly proud I am to be one of you. To call myself a Generation-Y baby is the greatest thing that could have ever happened to me. Baby-Boomers? Who is that? We're here now, and we've taken over. I admit, maybe we aren't always in the limelight for "positive" reasons according to our parents' and their peers, but who cares? There are plenty of reasons why our generation is the best thing to ever walk the streets of this great nation, maybe even the world.

First of all, we recognize the importance of recognition. We fight for what we (think) we deserve. Your high school football team loses 91-0 to a three-time Class 4A champion that is ranked #1 in a statewide AP Poll - what do you do? You get your dad to file a bullying report against their head coach. Four for you, Fort Worth Western Hills. That'll show them not to mess with you. Anyway, we deserve to get a participation ribbon, free healthcare, and whatever else we can manage to get our hands on. Maybe a couple hundred thousand dollars because someone rear-ended me while driving, because hey - he should have been paying closer attention.

We understand the concept of, "Why work for something, when you can have it handed to you?" That one's pretty self-explanatory kiddos. We just seem to be the first generation smart enough to figure it out.

You all knew this one was coming... WE LOVE TO HAVE FUN! We know how to have a good time. And we are pros at sharing it all over social media. We tweet things like, "Wow, last night was so much fun.. Too bad I don't remember any of it LOL" and post pictures to Facebook and Instagram of ourselves, red solo cups in hand and plenty of skin showing to go around. Grades? Who cares about those? C's get degrees! Plus, who cares if we show off that we have fun? Clearly our future bosses are going to love that we will bring sunshine to our companies. And anyway, it's about who you know, not what you know anymore. Duuuuuuuh. Oh, and bring me another drink. #whitegirlwasted

Politics don't matter to most of us. Our vote doesn't count anyway. But, you can bet that if we are politically involved, we only get our news from one station because we just know that they have the most correct information. That's what my parents told me anyway, and I agree with everything they have to say because I just don't care enough to find out for myself otherwise.

In conclusion, it is in all of our best interests to party as much as possible in college, maybe even get a few citations. Remember that grades aren't the best measure of your intelligence. We're just kids, anyway - it's like, in our nature to rebel. And tYp3 lYk dis if we want 2. We'll grow up and be successful someday, I mean our parents have been telling us since we were old enough to listen that "You can do anything you put your mind to!" So obviously, getting a boob job (maybe a nose job...), a fake tan, and a sugar daddy will put you on the right track to being famous and landing on a series of Real Housewives.

You keep making me proud, Generation-Y'ers. You do you. Here's to hoping things go exactly as we plan, because what would we do otherwise? It's all we know.

Cheers.

Lessons Learned

"Everything in life comes as a blessing or a lesson. Sometimes both, but never neither."

It's been said that experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted. Now, I don't know how much I believe that statement, because some of the greatest experiences of my life have come from getting things I thought that I wanted. I've been high and I've been low, and I've learned incredibly important lessons from both. Two years ago, I was challenged to pen a list of some of the things I've learned, and I hope maybe I can shed some insight for you too.

I plan to add to and expand this list, so for now, just consider it a work in progress.

Lessons Learned

• Get a good night's sleep
• Set (multiple) alarm(s)
• Always leave home looking like you're going to see an ex or your worst enemy
• Get involved on campus and in the community
• Make sure there is always a camera around 
• Take matters into your own hands
• Organization, organization, organization
• Don't trust most people farther than you can throw them
• Attend sporting events
• And tailgates, and dances, and other social events
• Some of the most eloquent papers stem from procrastination
• Some of the worst papers stem from procrastination
• Your guidance department won't be the best guidance you receive
• Keep smiling
• You never know who is watching
• If you run into a tree - twice - Ultimate Frisbee probably isn't for you
• Teachers have more than just school subjects to teach you, listen to them
• Just because something is challenging, don't run away from it. Practice until you get it right
• Skip school every now and then
• Don't take the easy way out
• There's more to life than dating an athlete (or a frat star)
• No one remembers the nights when they got a full night of sleep
• Grade's aren't everything
• Don't let other people define who you are
• The goal should be to laugh as much as you breathe
• Turn your wounds into wisdom.
• Make friends everywhere you go, they could turn into the greatest people in your life
• You don't have to have everything figured out
• Don't put lava lamps on the stove
• Walmart at 3 AM is the most entertainment you can find in a small town
• McDonald's at that time is usually sketchy as all get out
• Hit the deer, the insurance won't pay if you swerve
• It's okay to get up and dress nicely in the morning for school. I promise.
• You'll find a time when you stop being embarrassed by just about everything
• Try your hardest to see the big picture 
• Driving fast is fun, but driving safely is better
• Relationships don't always last forever
• Your last name won't get you things in the real world
• High school is a time to be endured
• You might actually remember the fundamental theory of calculus
• Skype dates are a truly wonderful thing
• Lunch table conversations are one of the most honest things you'll ever hear
• Just laugh it off
• If you don't have fun, who will?
• Rainy days are the greatest for a pick-up football game
• Find a passion
• Act like a little kid - it's the best
• Having ambitions won't make you the most popular kid in high school
• Be nice to everyone, that's what they'll remember the most
• Don't sweat the small stuff... Too much
• Keep a journal
• Be a volunteer
• Driving around in your car or sitting near a body of water are great stress relievers
• Teachers hear everything
• Appreciate the little moments
• You don't have to be artistic, a little color goes a long way
• If something goes wrong, theres a good chance you're not the first one it has happened to
• Pay attention to road signs
• DUI checkpoints are terrifying even if you are driving sober
• Thank the members of our Armed Forces
• Music and quotes can express your feelings, even if you can't
• You don't have to be Bono or Bill Gates to change the world
• Go into new experiences with an open mind
• Never judge a book by its cover, in any situation
• SMILESMILESMILE
• Act like you're confident, even if you have no idea what you're doing
• Half-assing an activity because you're afraid looks so much worse than trying and failing
• Always keep a blanket, a pair of shoes, and jumper cables in your car
• Thank your parents for all they have done for you
• Stand up for yourself
• Identify your weaknesses
• When it rains, it pours - but it can't rain forever
• Some arguments just aren't worth the effort
• If your guy friends don't approve of a guy, they're probably onto something
• Don't let someone else ruin your friendships because you're in a relationship with them
• Life goes on
• Don't test a stapler on your finger. Or a pencil sharpener
• Believe it or not, there is a limit on the number of people you can fit ina revolving door
• Being punctual isn't a sin
• Being fashionably late every now and then isn't either
• A good scientist never has set expectations of results
• Take life one day at a time
• No one is perfect
• If at first you don't succeed, try again. And again. And again, until you get it right
• Think outside the box
• If it's cloudy, put your car windows up just in case
• Learn how to drive a manual transmission

The most important lesson that I've learned so far?

Just when you think you've got it all figured out - you learn something new. 

"Proud"

Remember the days you told yourself that you would never grow old?
Well, here you are - but would you really change a thing?
You may not feel that you are quiet as good as you once were,
Your senses might fail you, but please promise that you won't forget me
As I am right now at the young nineteen.

Looking back across the years may feel nostalgic and cliché,
But my biggest, burning question is, do you like what you see?
"A life of oh well's," that's what you wanted most -
And I pray the years that have passed you by
Have been enough to leave you satisfied.

From your first day of school to your first real date,
Don't let go of your innocence and blissful naivety.
The way you danced around your room getting ready,
Or your infamous response -
"I'll be just a minute!" When everyone know how it was time you lost.

Now that you're all grown up, I hope you haven't forgotten
The struggles and strife that boys gave you through the years
While you waited for your very own Prince Charming.
Everyone told you it was because you were too pretty - and that may be,
But never forget the days you said, "Daddy is the only man I need."

I'm writing from a lifetime ago, or so it well may seem,
But please don't let the years between us fool you.
You may not feel that you are quite as good as you once were,
Just know that through all that has happened and still is yet to be,
All I hope is that you are proud of me.

You get what you give

I was raised in a home where I was taught that I should do things for others without expecting anything in return. Growing up, I was constantly reminded that I would have to work for the things that I wanted in life because they wouldn't be handed to me - and if they were, it wouldn't teach me anything. I learned very early on that the greatest lesson in life was the importance of working for what you get. 


As the years have passed, I've found myself thankful of that lesson on more than one occasion. When I worked hard on homework in high school while my classmates slacked off and played shenanigans - and I didn't get one rejection letter when it came to applying for college. All the times I dragged myself to work at 5:30 am on a weekend while all my other friends were sleeping off the night before, and this semester working 18 hours a week while taking 18 hours of classes - and I've yet to have the "broke college kid nightmare" of having $3.67 in my bank account.

This great lesson that I've learned through my years hasn't been an easy one by any means, but it has aided me far beyond any material "things" that I have gained. It has helped to shape me into the woman I am - emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as well. I've seen the strength of a sturdy heart when the time came to listen to my parents and finally break up with that boy (and he was just that, a boy), when all he brought to my life was toxicity and friction between myself and the people I love. I've witnessed the unstoppable force of a spirit that has been beaten down by catty girls for years and years when the straw finally broke the camel's back. I saw that same unstoppable force when I heard myself yelling not only at those girls, but at my high school's principal, superintendent, parents, classmates - anyone who would listen to me. I was done being quiet, I wasn't holding back any longer.


When I talk about all the things that I have done and accomplished in my short nineteen years in this world, I tend to leave things out and minimize my worth. "Why?" you may wonder. I wish I knew how to answer that, but I suppose that I will have to leave it at "I try my hardest to be humble." I pray a lot, and I have been growing stronger in my faith. I hate to look back and know that at one point I let it waver, but I know that my life and path are always in God's hands. I mean, the Bible even says it right there in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”


Why then, do I sometimes feel like I do things to no avail? Why do I feel like I work so hard to open doors for myself, make life easier for others, and ultimately make a difference in the world - only to receive nothing in return? I find myself whining, "But I thought if I worked hard, I would gain in return!" 


If I'm being completely honest, which I aim to be, I had one of these nights last night. I was already struggling with my sorority not winning any awards at Phi Kappa Tau's philanthropy step show, even after all the hard work, blood (literally), sweat, and tears we had put into putting together a routine we were sure would wow the crowd, when another bomb was dropped on me. Something I had looked forward to for so long and had worked so hard to be able to be a part of, was suddenly not an option anymore - at least not right now anyway. I walked away with a pit in my stomach, a feeling much akin to being sucker punched. I was distraught, but still did my best not to show it. I didn't want anyone to know that I was so upset. I even went so far as to tell myself that I wouldn't cry (which I did, and if you know me you know that that's no surprise in the least). I questioned why I work so hard when I "get nothing in return." Why I try so hard to please everyone else, when it feels like no one can every do anything for me when I need them.


I slept on it, and my already secure belief in the saying "The two best cures for anything are a long sleep and a good laugh" (Thanks for that one, Irish ancestors), only grew stronger. I woke up with a feeling of content that I hadn't felt in quite some time. It finally occurred to me that I can't see God's plan in action every single second. God has bigger plans for me than I can ever even imagine, and with this "missed opportunity" passing me by, he has a bigger blessing in store for me down the road. Maybe it won't be tomorrow, or next week. Maybe it will be six months or a year down the road, but it is there waiting for me when the time is right.

I also got to thinking about how blessed I am with the things I "get back" from my life each and every day. I love people, and I love to hear their stories. Just listening to people talk fills me with inspiration, and changes my life in ways they may never even notice - but that I do, and can't thank them enough for it. I receive random acts of kindness, from compliments on my outfit or my hair, to someone holding the door open for me, a smile from a stranger on the street. Things that I never asked for, but receive and are blessed by all the same. I love to write, and knowing that I can affect people with my words is the greatest gift I could ever receive... One money can't buy. 

People give me their time just to read what I have to say, and I give them a glimpse into my life. A look at parts of me that they may never have imagined. It makes me happier than anything when people share with me the experiences we have in common, the way I have made them feel. Just knowing that I can change even one life with my words means more to me than any of the "missed opportunities" ever could. 

I'll leave you with the words that have gotten me through today, and will for the days to come. 

"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

Every reason I go back

I grew up in an incredibly small town in Western Pennsylvania that I couldn't wait to get out of.

I grew up in a town that was too small for me, that suffocated me. A town full of bigots, hypocrites and cowards. The place where "muppears" came for the summer, and we cursed them every day until the fall turned everything crisp yet again. A one-building school district of a little over 500, and a "high school" of a little less than 300. I hail from the Snow Belt, where it isn't uncommon to get three feet of snow overnight - and still have school the next day. Imagine that.

I grew up in a confused little town. A town where there was a clear line defining the city-slicker wannabes, and the kids who got offended when someone would wear camouflage to school because they weren't "country" enough. I attended sporting events where we didn't have enough athletes to field a full team, let alone win a game or be recruited to a college above the DII level. Where the other team's taunts included retorts about tractors, trucks, and cows.

I grew up in a farm town that struggled to embrace the "farm" life. Well, kind of. A town where house parties were non-existent, and you had to have a 4WD (or a friend with one) to get to parties thrown in fields. But redneck was the most offensive title someone could have. The place you could leave 15 minutes early for school to get help on Calculus homework, and be 45 minutes late because you had to help the neighbors round up their cows. I know this for a fact, because it happened to me.

I grew up in a town where no one ever really leaves. A town where people go to college, generally within 2-3 hours of home, and come back. A community where several of the teachers I had, also taught my dad. Where you could never do anything, good or bad, without your parents finding out before you had a chance to tell them. I would leave work at night sometimes to find notes on my car, simply because everyone can identify everyone else's everything.

I grew up, and I left that sleepy little town. I moved 400 miles away from everyone and everything I had ever known. I started over in the city of Derby, Bourbon, and Cardinals. I learned to love hot browns and added "y'all" to my daily vernacular. I visited home, and I counted down the days until I could make the 6 1/2 hour trek back to my new "home." On one occasion, the first night of my first Christmas break, I even broke down crying to my parents about how much I hated being at home and I hated everyone there. I truly believed that there was nothing in Hadley, Pennsylvania for me - and that I would never want to come back.

I didn't come back after that, not for an entire semester in any case. During those four months, a funny thing started to happen. Some may call it growing up, others the idea that "absence makes the heart grow fonder." Others yet may argue that I just finally opened up my eyes...

I come home to a small town, that is waiting for me with open arms. A town full of pieces of myself. A little bit in each and every one of its residents - some of the greatest storytellers, savviest financial advisors, and wisest life coaches anyone could ever ask for. A place where the muppears still come every summer, and we still curse them until they leave. (Some things just might never change.) A one building school where my name is immortalized on various plaques, and where I have memories from 13 years of my life. I hail from the Snow Belt, where we actually know how to drive in snow, and recognize the importance of chains, snow plows, and studded tires.

I come home to a traditional little town. Where there is still a defining line, although these days it seems to be growing a little less distinct. I attend sporting events where, while we still can't seem to chalk up a winning record, the home side is always packed. Where the other teams stopped yelling about tractors, trucks, and cows, because we just embrace it and yell back.

I come home to a town that shaped me into the farm girl that I am, the one I didn't quite realize I was until I moved to the city. A town where redneck is a badge of pride, one that I fully accept now-a-days. The place I learned how to shoot a gun, ride a horse, birth a calf, pull back an arrow, spot a deer in a field while I'm driving. Where the air is clear and you can see the stars, and not just outside the city limits either.

I grew up in a town where no one ever really leaves, which makes it all the more special to come home to. A community that will stop traffic and stand in line for hours at the only funeral home in town, just to pay their last respects and stand beside our own. A place where news travels fast, and a helping hand travels even faster. A town that may only have one stoplight, but has "more churches than people," and an American flag that waves each and every day without failure.

I grew up in a town that may not be on a map, but that I know well enough I could draw one by heart. I  grew up on back roads and truck beds, home cooked meals and homegrown beef. I grew up in a town where the gossip is always the same, and where deer season is a holiday. (No, not just the first day - the whole damn season.) I grew up giving directions using cornfields and old family properties that have been theirs for generations. I grew up in a home where my dad WAS 911. I grew up in a place that I couldn't be prouder to call my hometown, with friends and family and loved ones and classmates and neighbors I wouldn't choose differently even given the chance.

I grew up in an incredibly small town in Western Pennsylvania, where every reason I left is every reason I go back.