There are those old friends, we all have them, that we can't imagine our lives without. The ones who know us better than we know ourselves, even though most days we have a hard time admitting it. (Or, to be honest, if you're anything like me? That's every day. Even when they prove us wrong yet again. I'm always right... Right?)
The truth is that these people know us so well because they've made us who we are. Yeah, I went there. I said it. We all have ourselves fooled into believing that the choices we make and the things we do are the sole things that define us. I all too often fall into this camp of thought myself, guilty as charged. But when I stop to think - really think - about it all, I know that this isn't the case. Not even the slightest. Sure, the things we do define us. I mean, you decide whether you want to go to college, how you dress, the "extracurriculars" that you find yourself involved with. When it comes down to the nitty gritty about who we are though, these aren't the things that really truly make us who we are. I like to believe that Chuck Palahniuk hit the nail on the head when he said, "Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I've ever known."
I know that I, for one, am made up of the people I hold close, the people I love, and the people I have loved. I have my father's tongue and temper, my mother's intuition, my grandfather's love for fresh air and country roads. I got my sense of humor from my childhood best friend, and my nasty right hook from a boy I dated in high school. My knack for wrestling and sassy sense of confidence came along from my older, bigger, and all boy cousins, which landed me a broken nose from a football game and a boy who turned out to be one of my very best friends. My gracefulness comes from 15 years of dance class, and the four wonderful instructors who taught me more than just dance.
Today, I was having a heart-to-heart with one of these "parts of me." An old friend, someone who truly does know me better than I know myself. We've been the best of friends, we've wanted to claw each others eyes out, but through it all we've been there for each other. He was there when my boyfriend of almost two and a half years broke my heart, when I got my first acceptance letter to college, and every time I need a shoulder to cry on. We don't see each other nearly as much as we used to, but he always knows just what I need to hear - whether it's what I want to hear or not. Today I was having a rough morning, and was just really down on myself for no real reason. I'm sick and tired of my crutches, of feeling like I can't do everything that I want to do because I'm temporarily disabled. I found myself saying to him,
"I'm nothing special.. No, not really. I'm a stereotypical blonde sorority girl who can't seem to get rid of her small town ways, no matter how hard she tries, and maybe wants to go to law school someday. There's millions of girls just like me."
He was quick to remind me of all of the things that set me apart. My sense of humor, my compassion, my genuine love for life. It's nice to be reminded every once in a while that we are special, that everything we do isn't all for nothing. That it's not just the new and current people in our lives who are proud of the people we are and are becoming, but the old ones, the tried and true, are as well. I am so incredibly blessed and gracious to have people like that in my life, the ones always ready and willing to pick me up when I stumble and fall.
The people who remind me that maybe I'm not the skinniest girl in the room, but I can throw hay bales off a trailer, give my friends piggy back rides, and hold the weight of the world on my shoulders. The people who make me believe in myself, even when my confidence is wavering and the rain is pouring down. The people who made me into who I am, and continue to shape me each and every single day.
The people who remind me that, while it may seem like I am just another blonde sorority girl from a small-town, that I'm one of a kind. That I am unique, and that I should appreciate and flaunt it. The people who remind me that I am loved, and oh so deeply. That no matter what happens, tomorrow is always a new day, there is always a new place to see and new people to meet..
The people who make me believe that I may be one in 7.04 billion - but I am one.
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