I'm a huge country music fan, and if you know me even the slightest, the fact that I even had to say that probably made you shake your head and laugh a little under your breath. I'm the girl who knows every word to almost any country song you throw my way - from Hank Williams to Eric Church, Patsy Cline to Miranda Lambert. There's one song that, while I used to get annoyed as hell when it first came out, resonates a little closer to home now - "Letter To Me" by Brad Paisley. Cliché as they come, I know. But when you think about it, there's a few songs kind of along the same lines.. "The House That Built Me" by my idol Miranda Lambert, "Young" by Kenny Chesney, the list goes on. We all seem to be able to agree on one thing, if nothing else - we all wish we knew then what we knew now (except maybe Garth Brooks looking back on "The Dance").
I've been doing a lot of self-reflecting recently, and realized that there is a song that maybe fits my life more than I ever realized.. You can find it here if you're interested. Which you should, because it is a damn good song. Anyway, it has always been so hard for me to accept that hindsight is 20/20 because I am such a perfectionist, and I hate to be wrong. Which is why "Letter To Me" hits so close to home - if I only knew then what I know now. It got me thinking... I'm only 19 now, so it sounds like 17 was just yesterday. But looking back across the years, I realize I've done more growing in the past two short years than I did in most of my first 17. There are so many things I would tell myself at seventeen, and I sat down to put them into words.
Dear Dallas,
Seventeen. Senior year. I know right now you feel like you're on top of the world, but at the same time you feel like you're lost with no direction or idea how your life is going to end up. And do you want to know something? That's okay. If I've learned one thing in these past two years, it's that that feeling doesn't exactly go away. It changes, it transforms, it will ebb and it will grow, but it never truly goes away. Live for that feeling. Live for the moments that you can truly let go and just enjoy every second.
You're a perfectionist. We both know that. But if I can give you one piece of advice, it would be to accept that you can't control every situation - but you can control how you react and how you let it affect you. I recently received one of the greatest compliments I think I ever have; when I was in your shoes it was something I never would have expected to be told, or deserved for that matter. A lady at the courthouse was yelling at me, and after the fact, one of her coworkers praised me and told me that I "stay so sweet under pressure." Anyone who knows you would die of laughter at the thought of someone telling me that, but I swear it's true. I've been working so hard to control my emotions, and a lot of it comes from things I experienced at your age.
High school hasn't been easy for you. Yeah, I know, it's not easy for anyone and maybe I'm a bit biased, but it really hasn't been a walk in the park for you. You've put up with catty insecure girls, narcissistic boys, and devilish teachers. You've had your heart broken, your dreams crushed, and even some days felt like there was no one in the world who cared. But more than that, you've learned how to put the pieces back together, put a smile on your face, and keep pushing through. That perseverance will take you so far in life, even though I know you're tired of hearing that right now. Just trust me on this one, little darling. Your strength and courage will inspire people that you never imagined, and just knowing that will one day make it worth every second.
All those trials and tribulations have made you really eager to leave home. Actually... I'm not sure eager is the right word, since you basically had a countdown to college move-in beginning the first day of senior year. You feel like you'll never miss high school, never miss home, never miss a single person you went to high school with. But, some day you will realize that you were luckier than you ever realized. For every person who made your life a living hell, there was one waiting to pick you up when you fell. You will learn to love every single moment of growing up in Small Town, USA, and all the lessons that it taught you that you will carry with you (maybe even share with those citified folk). You'll miss moments of high school. You'll miss bus rides, late night laughs and McDonald's runs, and your senior prom most of all. Senior prom will be one of the best nights of your life, I still haven't had a night to quite make me feel so alive. But have no fear, those people won't let you burn the bridges, and they'll meet you in the middle. Keep them around, you need them more than you know.
There are some other amazing people in your life that you need to keep around. But, these people are a little bit harder, because they can't physically be with you anymore. Please just promise me that you will never forget that they are with you, every single step of the road. Every peak, every valley, they're right there with you. Hold onto their memories. Hold onto the lessons they taught you. Hold onto the sunshine that they brought into your life, and never let it go.
People are going to try and stomp on your dreams. Laugh in their faces. No, seriously, laugh in their faces and tell them "watch me." Because you have so much potential and the chance to do amazing things. Don't let them put a doubt in your mind, let it fuel you to work that much harder. There is no satisfaction like proving someone wrong about what you can do.
Things are going to change soon, as they always do. Embrace these changes, and let them shape you. But please don't lose sight of who you are, and if you do? Be brave enough to walk through the darkness to find that light and sparkle again. You'll never be walking alone. Plus, you're one of the strongest people I have ever met, you're a real badass. Don't be afraid to laugh too loudly, or love too quickly. Those words don't even make any sense, because there is no such thing.
As much as I wish you knew all of these things, I know the importance of you learning it on your own time. You'll learn these lessons well, and you'll make me proud. I have all the faith in the world in you. I'll be seeing you soon (aka the blink of an eye), but until then..
xoxo
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