"Popular" Culture?

I've been told time and time again that I was born an old soul, and I have no doubt in my mind that there is much validity in that statement. I'd rather read F. Scott Fitzgerald than Cosmo, and I spend more money at J.Crew than Forever 21. I keep a journal and prefer handwritten letters, I am in a relationship that is based on more than boozy weekends and Instagram posts. Maybe this is why I am in such complete opposition with what society considers "pop culture".

I don't keep up with the Kardashians. I don't care about what drugs Justin Bieber is doing this week. I couldn't care less about what new stunt Miley Cyrus has come up with to seek attention. None of those things concern me even a fraction of how much they seem to engulf people my age. Sometimes I look at my generation, and it all makes sense why we're Generation Y. Literally, why?! I've harped on this before, but this time my perspective is different.

After seemingly the longest semester of my college career (I understand why they call it a sophomore slump now), I came back after Christmas break ready to make the comeback of the year. I've been seeing things in a completely different light, and maybe even a little out of my element. Have I grown out of touch with the way things are these days? Have I become so focused on the rest of my life that I have forgotten the here and now? I like to think that I haven't. I still have more fun than I know what to do with, I say yes to opportunities, I'm truly living the dream. But I still find myself shaking my head at things I see... In person, on campus, on the weekends, on social media. Now, don't get me wrong - we all make questionable decisions sometimes. I mean.. It's college. In no way am I pointing fingers. But I can't help but wonder what is going through the mind of people my age when they do some of the things they do? 

College might be the best years of your life, but they are not the only four years of your life. Remember why you're here. We're here to make friendships, connections, learn (do we have to???), and prepare yourself for the rest of your life. We hear people constantly harping on us to be aware of what we post on social media, because our future employers are watching. It's so easy to blow it off because "out of sight, out of mind." But in all reality, there are more than just future employers watching. Your family is watching, your friends (and frenemies for that matter) are watching, God is watching. Do you want their impression of you to be a lush who wears provocative outfits and dances on tables every weekend? I mean, maybe you do. And if you're one of those people, you do you. 

Even more so than just the choices we make, we have to keep in mind that they are our choices. No one else's. This is what frustrates me more than anything about my generation. Why is it that we feel it is completely okay to blame others for our choices? No, it probably isn't your professor's fault you failed chemistry - it's probably because you chose to go out to a party on the night before your final instead of studying. No, it isn't the officer's fault for pulling you over and charging you with a DUI - it's your fault for putting the innocent lives of others in the path of danger. There are countless things that we do, big and small, that we try so hard to blame others for. Myself included. But this isn't where the road ends. 

This is just where the road begins. We all make mistakes. We all do things that we regret, and we wish we could take back. But, everything in life is either a blessing or a lesson. I propose that we take matters into our own hands, and start learning from our lessons. You don't have to Bono or Bill Gates to change the world. Change has always come from pissed off young people. Do yourself a favor, do the world around you a favor. Take charge in this life, and make a change for the better. You might just surprise yourself with what you can accomplish. Maybe you'll even change the face of what "popular" culture is. But if you don't? You'll still change your life. 

Weeds

When gardening, we are taught to "weed", or to remove the weeds that attempt to take over the beautiful flowers we try so hard to grow. Weeds take over the food and water supply of our real plants, block out sunlight if they get too big, and can even cut off the roots of the beautiful flowers - leaving them to wilt and die. 

It's a funny thing to consider in the dead of winter, weeding out a garden that is. But I've been giving a lot of thought to the theory behind weeding, and how it is necessary in more facets of our lives than just our gardens. For a long time, I have let the negativity of pernicious people take over my mind and heart. I let myself become so consumed with the opinions of these people, and the value that they place on me, that I forget who I have worked so hard to become. 

I know in my heart of hearts that I am living each day of my life to the fullest, because we only get one chance at this life. I make mistakes, I curse, I oversleep and miss class sometimes. I have hurt people who are close to me, and I have missed opportunities to tell people I loved just how much they meant to me. I'm a sinner, and I come from a long line of sinners like me.  

So, in 2014, it's time to do some weeding of my own. Weed out the people in my life who only serve to judge me and bring me down. Weed out the people who feel the need to belittle my dreams and ambitions, people who don't want me to succeed. Weed out the people who passive aggressively voice their negative opinions of me on social media, unfollow, unfriend, delete. 

The grass isn't always greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it. People will always believe what they want to believe, and I believe that it is time to water my flowers - not my weeds. 

A rainy day, lost luggage, tangled Christmas lights

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

- Maya Angelou

You will meet someone who sees a rainy day as a waste and a reason to complain. This is the person you are disgusted by at the airport counter, yelling at berating the innocent girl standing behind the counter who clearly had nothing to do with his luggage being lost. He will throw a fit over tangled Christmas lights, and probably hate Christmas decorations in general because he is so quick to get his tinsel in a tangle. He is so inconceivably attractive because you feel that he can be a "project", someone you can fix. "He just needs someone to see the beauty inside, someone to make him see the good in the world around him instead of only the negative," you find yourself thinking. Stop. Stop thinking, stop right there. Collect yourself, take a deep breath, and run as fast as you can in the other direction. He can't love you the way you want him to, because he will never see the beauty in you. All he will ever see are the negatives, the flaws, the half-empty glass. This knowledge will not make it any easier to move on because chances are he will be chasing after you, tangled Christmas lights in hand, yelling about how it is all your fault you didn't put them back on the reel. And you know what? Maybe you didn't put them back on the reel. And that's okay. Do not let him belittle you, your dreams, your goals, your ambitions. Put some red lipstick and high heels on, walk right on out that door, and never look back. 

You will stumble across someone who could never have lost luggage, because he never travels. This is the one who sleeps away a rainy day because,  "What else am I going to do?" Tangled Christmas lights? Forget it. He'd have to put down the Xbox controller long enough. But he has so much "potential". I hate to have to be the bearer of bad news, but potential is bullshit if there is nothing to back it up. You will not inspire him to get off his butt and get it in gear. If his idea of a "romantic date" is some McDonalds and the new Call of Duty? Climb the stairs of his parents' basement, be sure to thank them for having you on the way out, and feel free to slam the door behind you on the way out. You want to be a teacher, a lawyer, a doctor, a real estate agent someday. Why let yourself be dragged down by someone who has no ambitions for life? You owe it to yourself to set your standards higher than that. You deserve someone who will be a mover and a shaker, at least enough to move and shake himself into some dress clothes and out of his parents' house. 

You'll be surprised by someone who can laugh over tangled Christmas lights, because it is an excuse to make a memory with you. He will understand that lost luggage is replaceable, but will have the foresight to pack his valuables in a carry-on. Rainy days though, those are his favorite. Who doesn't love kissing and dancing in the rain? Even if he is a freak who doesn't, he'll do it anyway - because he knows you love it. Maybe he doesn't have his life completely together, but let's be honest, who does? If he wants to be a better person for you, don't let him go. This one will have ambition, drive, a positive outlook on life, and if you're really lucky, a smile that can melt your heart when the corners even just begin to turn upwards. He will give you the greatest gifts you've ever received. No, I don't mean he will buy you a trip to the stars, diamond earrings, or an island in the sun. (But if he does, be sure to thank him, of course). He will give you his heart, his love - everything he has to offer. Just remember that because he can laugh off tangled Christmas lights, and deal with a new wardrobe, and even dance in the rain, it doesn't mean he's perfect. None of us are. 

You can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. You can try to fix the relationship full of toxicity with kind words and loving gestures. You can work your hardest to inspire the lazy bum (or scum-sucking pig from hell, in the words of my greatest mentor). You can spend every day of your life trying to do things for other people, to no avail. Whatever helps you sleep at night. But if it doesn't?

You can spend your days deciding how you would deal with a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas lights. Then, and only then, can you find someone who deals with them just the way you do. Someone who can give you the greatest gift of all - his heart. 

2014

New Year's Eve is one of the most magical times of the year, but I've never been sure which year New Year's belongs to. I suppose until the clock strikes twelve and the ball drops it is still the year we're all so ready to rid ourselves of - that would make sense anyway. When the "Happy New Years!" wishes start rolling in and our cell phones all stop working, that is what I consider property of the new year... What about you? 

There is just something about New Year's that deludes us into believing that this year things will be different, exciting, new, revolutionary. Whether you will be ringing in 2014 in the quiet of your own home, maybe even sleeping right through it, or spending it with thousands of other people in a place like New York City, Miami, New Orleans, or San Francisco - it's hard not to get swept up into the optimism that only comes with a new year.

Changing the calendar, training your brain to write the new year instead of the old (although, if you're anything like me this will realistically take six months to accomplish), and as always... Resolutions. A resolution is defined as "a firm decision to do or not to do something." Gosh, that sounds so much easier than it is to actually follow through with, doesn't it? I always find myself setting New Year's resolutions, and this year is no exception to that rule. With January 1st, 2014 just a mere four days way, I have found myself in a little bit of a predicament... Just what is it this year that I will firmly resolve to do or not do?

In 2013, I have done more soul searching than I probably have in the prior eighteen years from 1994-2012, and I couldn't be happier about the person I'm becoming. New years are seen as a new beginning, a time to start over, and for the first time I don't feel that I need to start over at the beginning. My resolutions have morphed and transformed over time, and gone are the days that they consisted simply of "Be nicer to people", "Work out more", or even "Stop eating junk food."

These days, I understand the importance of realistic resolutions. I am goal-oriented, and it works best for me to have flexible and dynamic goals and resolutions I know that I can work to attain, or I'll never even try. My suggestion for you is to find out just the kind of person you are, and find out what works for you. I mean, maybe you do have the willpower to just say "I'm going to the gym more," and go out and do just that. As you'll see through my resolutions for 2014, it's going to take some time to be able to say I kept my resolutions. Maybe I won't be able to fulfill all of them, but you can bet your last dollar I'm going to do my best.

1. Work to be an overall healthier person

Health, to me, takes many shapes. This resolution encompasses my desire to start working out more, cut soda out of my diet as much as possible, and even work toward better mental health. I word this particular resolution the way I do, because by having more facets to work toward, if I miss a day at the gym, or suck down a Diet Coke, I won't be tempted to give up on it. This one is pretty generic, but in the end, who doesn't want to be happy and healthy?

2. Let myself be overcome with the grace of southern charm

"Patience is a virtue." We've all heard it, but it's time for me to take it to heart. I've been working very hard the past few months to be more patient and understanding about things I can't change, but it will always be a work in progress with room for improvement. Part of this also involves working toward being less shallow. I always have, and always will, loathe being associated with that word - but, I'm a female and I'm honest. We've ALL been shallow, whether you care to admit it or not. I want to change my outlook, and see the beauty in everything, and everyone. 

3. Cut ties with my need for social media

I'm Generation-Y. Social media is our kryptonite. I'm tired of sitting at dinner with my friends, and not talking to any of them because we all (myself included, regrettably) are buried too deeply in our iPhones to acknowledge the presence of each other. On a trip with a group of my best friends, almost all of our phones died, and it was the strangest thing... We actually.. Enjoyed each others' company? Going deeper with this one, it kind of ties back into #1. Social media causes unnecessary stress and has been known to bring major blows to my self-image. I accept my flaws, but I also know that no one can make me feel inferior without my consent (Thanks, Eleanor), and it's time to stop consenting. 

4.  Keep a journal

I'm a writer, I'm a feeler, I'm a nostalgic. I won't hoodwink myself into truly believing I will write in it religiously, feverishly scribbling each and every aspect of my days each night by a glowing candle. As romantic as that sounds to my inner scribe - just no. I do, however, want to someday be able to look back at these years and remember the little things, the nights and the friends and the experiences that fall just below the horizon. 

5.  Be more honest with my feelings

This is a HUGE thing for me. For entirely too long, I was a pushover. For those of you who know me pretty well, you probably think this is the biggest joke I've ever told... It's not a joke, there's no punchline. For as feisty and headstrong as I am, I'm non-confrontational to the max. The past few months I have come around to this fact, and have become a little more assertive about my feelings. I've lost "friends" and other people close to me because they felt I changed, when really I was just standing up for myself. Whether it be family, friends, work, strangers, it's time for me to make my voice heard. I'm tired of what if, and I'm in need of some oh well, some at least I tried. 

There they are, my five resolutions for 2014. I encourage you to set some resolutions for yourself, ones that are worthwhile and meaningful to you - not anyone else. Don't just ask 2014 to be the best year yet, go out and make it the best for yourself. It will be worth it, I promise. 

Date A Girl Who Reads

Recently, there has been a major influx of reasons why you should "date a girl who..." - with the most popular being "Date A Girl Who Reads."

I've seen the Youtube video, read the Elite Daily article, and have been in love with the original blog post for months. My only question is... Since when is intellect considered a prize quality in the eyes of society? Did everyone finally open their eyes? We've been here all along, y'all. Girls have been reading, and wearing glasses, and enjoying worlds you could never begin to imagine for centuries - it's about time we finally get the credit we're due. 

Everyone else has their reasons why you should date a girl who reads, and I have mine.
A girl who reads can change your life, you just have to be willing to let her. 

A girl who reads will look for the best in everyone, especially in you. She will know that there is always a hidden side, a different perspective that you may not see from the pages of a book, but that you must read between the lines to find. She has fallen in love with "bad guys" and villains, and she knows that the hardest to love are the ones who need love the most. 

A girl who reads will challenge you. She more than likely has a feisty side and a vernacular to match. Her vocabulary is rich and fulfilled, and she is always looking for a new place to use her favorite words. The fact that "selfie" was voted the Word of the Year in 2013 disgusts her, because of the multitude of words slipping away from our language each and every day. She will argue with you, and you will be thrown for a loop because you will never know what is going to come out of her mouth next. 

A girl who reads is the strongest person you could ever imagine meeting. She has had her heart broken, and probably more times than you can begin to imagine. She has a heart that has been torn to pieces by the heartbreak, death, and misfortune of her favorite characters. She has been ridiculed and taunted for her love of the classics, for burying herself in Chaucer and Faulkner and Tolstoy. She has gone through hell beside Odysseus, fought in Dumbledore's Army, and been to the depths of Dante's Inferno - and lived to tell the tale. 

A girl who reads will love you with a passion you can never begin to describe. She has thrown books across the room in anger, and ran after them to be sure she did not ruin the binding. She has devoured stories spanning hundreds of pages in a matter of hours.  She has fallen in love with Mr. Darcy, learned magic with Hermione, and lived vicariously through Jay Gatsby. She has cried and yelled and held grudges at fictional characters whose names you would never even recognize. She still has copies of her favorite childhood stories, the words she teethed on, and anxiously awaits the day she can share them with children of her own. 

A girl who reads can show you worlds beyond your wildest imagination. She can take you to Aslan's Narnia, to Anna Karenina's Russia, to Thoreau's Walden Pond. She has dogeared pages and highlighted quotes that remind her of who she is, and where she belongs, for the times that the real world seems like a distant mystery. 

A girl who reads is a girl worth loving, a girl worth waiting for. A girl who reads is worth losing for a few hours, because of what she will have to offer when you get her back. A girl who reads has an asset beyond the physical, she has a lifelong appeal to offer. A girl who reads is full of confidence, courage, sincerity, and self respect. 

A girl who reads deserves someone who can bewitch her, body and soul. She deserves a man who is willing to share the worlds she explores with her, someone who will hold her when she cries over "To Kill A Mockingbird," who will let her yell and scream at Snape. A girl who reads needs someone to love her who realizes that he will never be her whole world, because she is in love with so many different worlds. She needs, and deserves, someone who understands this - and loves her all the more for it. 

"Why don't you tell me that 'If the girl had been worth having, she'd have waited for you?' No, sir, the girl really worth having won't wait for anybody."

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

If I Could Write A Letter To Me

I'm a huge country music fan, and if you know me even the slightest, the fact that I even had to say that probably made you shake your head and laugh a little under your breath. I'm the girl who knows every word to almost any country song you throw my way - from Hank Williams to Eric Church, Patsy Cline to Miranda Lambert. There's one song that, while I used to get annoyed as hell when it first came out, resonates a little closer to home now - "Letter To Me" by Brad Paisley. Cliché as they come, I know. But when you think about it, there's a few songs kind of along the same lines.. "The House That Built Me" by my idol Miranda Lambert, "Young" by Kenny Chesney, the list goes on. We all seem to be able to agree on one thing, if nothing else - we all wish we knew then what we knew now (except maybe Garth Brooks looking back on "The Dance").

I've been doing a lot of self-reflecting recently, and realized that there is a song that maybe fits my life more than I ever realized.. You can find it here if you're interested. Which you should, because it is a damn good song. Anyway, it has always been so hard for me to accept that hindsight is 20/20 because I am such a perfectionist, and I hate to be wrong. Which is why "Letter To Me" hits so close to home - if I only knew then what I know now. It got me thinking... I'm only 19 now, so it sounds like 17 was just yesterday. But looking back across the years, I realize I've done more growing in the past two short years than I did in most of my first 17. There are so many things I would tell myself at seventeen, and I sat down to put them into words.


Dear Dallas, 

Seventeen. Senior year. I know right now you feel like you're on top of the world, but at the same time you feel like you're lost with no direction or idea how your life is going to end up. And do you want to know something? That's okay. If I've learned one thing in these past two years, it's that that feeling doesn't exactly go away. It changes, it transforms, it will ebb and it will grow, but it never truly goes away. Live for that feeling. Live for the moments that you can truly let go and just enjoy every second. 

You're a perfectionist. We both know that. But if I can give you one piece of advice, it would be to accept that you can't control every situation - but you can control how you react and how you let it affect you. I recently received one of the greatest compliments I think I ever have; when I was in your shoes it was something I never would have expected to be told, or deserved for that matter. A lady at the courthouse was yelling at me, and after the fact, one of her coworkers praised me and told me that I "stay so sweet under pressure." Anyone who knows you would die of laughter at the thought of someone telling me that, but I swear it's true. I've been working so hard to control my emotions, and a lot of it comes from things I experienced at your age. 

High school hasn't been easy for you. Yeah, I know, it's not easy for anyone and maybe I'm a bit biased, but it really hasn't been a walk in the park for you. You've put up with catty insecure girls, narcissistic boys, and devilish teachers. You've had your heart broken, your dreams crushed, and even some days felt like there was no one in the world who cared. But more than that, you've learned how to put the pieces back together, put a smile on your face, and keep pushing through. That perseverance will take you so far in life, even though I know you're tired of hearing that right now. Just trust me on this one, little darling. Your strength and courage will inspire people that you never imagined, and just knowing that will one day make it worth every second. 

All those trials and tribulations have made you really eager to leave home. Actually... I'm not sure eager is the right word, since you basically had a countdown to college move-in beginning the first day of senior year. You feel like you'll never miss high school, never miss home, never miss a single person you went to high school with. But, some day you will realize that you were luckier than you ever realized. For every person who made your life a living hell, there was one waiting to pick you up when you fell. You will learn to love every single moment of growing up in Small Town, USA, and all the lessons that it taught you that you will carry with you (maybe even share with those citified folk). You'll miss moments of high school. You'll miss bus rides, late night laughs and McDonald's runs, and your senior prom most of all. Senior prom will be one of the best nights of your life, I still haven't had a night to quite make me feel so alive. But have no fear, those people won't let you burn the bridges, and they'll meet you in the middle. Keep them around, you need them more than you know. 

There are some other amazing people in your life that you need to keep around. But, these people are a little bit harder, because they can't physically be with you anymore. Please just promise me that you will never forget that they are with you, every single step of the road. Every peak, every valley, they're right there with you. Hold onto their memories. Hold onto the lessons they taught you. Hold onto the sunshine that they brought into your life, and never let it go. 

People are going to try and stomp on your dreams. Laugh in their faces. No, seriously, laugh in their faces and tell them "watch me." Because you have so much potential and the chance to do amazing things. Don't let them put a doubt in your mind, let it fuel you to work that much harder. There is no satisfaction like proving someone wrong about what you can do. 

Things are going to change soon, as they always do. Embrace these changes, and let them shape you. But please don't lose sight of who you are, and if you do? Be brave enough to walk through the darkness to find that light and sparkle again. You'll never be walking alone. Plus, you're one of the strongest people I have ever met, you're a real badass. Don't be afraid to laugh too loudly, or love too quickly. Those words don't even make any sense, because there is no such thing. 

As much as I wish you knew all of these things, I know the importance of you learning it on your own time. You'll learn these lessons well, and you'll make me proud. I have all the faith in the world in you. I'll be seeing you soon (aka the blink of an eye), but until then..

xoxo

I Am Old Glory

I was blessed to grow up in a school where Veteran's Day was one of the most solemn days of the year. We were excused from classes for a mandatory assembly, that many people considered a free pass. A few hours to goof off, hang out with our friends, and be free from schoolwork for awhile. While some continued to hold that mindset when "Taps" was played and the flags were presented, many were drawn in by the pomp and circumstance, and were reminded of just what this day is all about - why we were gathered together, with our teachers, classmates, and revered members of both our Armed Forces and our community. One of my favorite parts of our ceremony was the candle lighting, where a candle was lit for each branch of this nation's military. I was lucky enough to be a part of the candle lighting for three years, representing the United States Air Force, Marines, and Army, respectively. 

While the assembly did not take long to bring me to tears, it took others a little longer. The one thing that could usually be counted on to silence the room and make us all shed a few tears was the reading of a poem. A poem that, whether you have known a veteran or not, you could relate to on a very personal level. A poem that reminds us of the answer to the question we sometimes find ourselves asking, "Do these soldiers even know what they're fighting for?" 

The answer is yes. Yes, they do. 
They are fighting for me, for you, and for the namesake of this poem - Old Glory. 



"I Am Old Glory"

I am the flag of the United States of America.
My name is "Old Glory".
I fly atop the world's tallest buildings.
I stand watch in America's halls of justice.
I fly majestically over institutions of learning.
I stand guard with power in the world.
Look up and see me.

I stand for peace, honor, truth and justice.
I stand for freedom.
I am confident.
I am arrogant.
I am proud.

When I am flown with my fellow banners,
My head is a little higher,
My colors a little truer.

I bow to no one!
I am recognized all over the world.
I am worshipped -- I am saluted.
I am loved -- I am revered.
I am respected -- and I am feared.

I have fought in every battle of every war
for more then 200 years.
I was flown at Valley Forge, Gettysburg,
Shiloh and Appomattox.
I was there at San Juan Hill,
the trenches of France,
in the Argonne Forest, Anzio, Rome
and the beaches of Normandy, Guam,
Okinawa, Korea, and Vietnam.
I was there. I led my troops.
I was dirty, battle-weary and tired,
but my soldiers cheered me
And I was proud.

I have been burned, torn and trampled
on the streets of countries I have helped set free.
It does not hurt, for I am invincible.

I have been soiled upon, burned, torn
and trampled on the streets of my country.
And when it's by those whom I've served in battle -- it hurts.
But I shall overcome -- for I am strong.

I have slipped the bonds of Earth
and stood watch over the uncharted frontiers of space
from my vantage point on the moon.
I have borne silent witness
to all of America's finest hours.
But my finest hours are yet to come.

When I am torn into strips
and used as bandages
for my wounded comrades on the battlefield,
When I am flown at half-mast to honor my soldier,
Or when I lie in the trembling arms
of a grieving parent at the grave of their fallen son or daughter,
I am proud.

My name is "Old Glory," long may I wave. 



Today we remember, we thank, we pray, and we love. 
God bless.