Hemingway's Whiskey

"Hemingway's whiskey, warm and smooth and mean. 

Even when it burns, it'll always finish clean. 

He didn't like it watered down, he took it straight up and neat.

If it's bad enough for him, you know it's bad enough for me."

- Hemingway's Whiskey by Kenny Chesney

For those of you who may not be a classical literature junkie like I am, Hemingway was known for his whiskey-guzzling tendencies. He even once said, "Write drunk, edit sober." It's a strange concept to me, drinking for inspiration. "A good muse is hard to find," though I guess, right? Some people find their way through nature, others through music and action. For me? My whiskey is people.

As hard as it has been for me to admit, I love people, and I love hearing their stories. I fall in love with people every day. Yes - I fall in love with strangers every single day. Think I'm crazy yet? I'm a people watcher, that much is for certain. Sometimes I find myself sitting in a room full of people and making up stories for people I don't know. I imagine what they are talking about, what their family is like, what their dreams and hopes and aspirations are. I find myself wondering about their first love, how badly it broke their heart, and what they did to get through it. Do they have a passport? Where has it been stamped? What book are they currently immersed in, do they become a part of the story the same way I do? "There is no friend as loyal as a book." Are they deeply rooted to their hometown, or do they feel most at home fulfilling their wanderlust?

I don't just see people, I see their stories. I see an opportunity to make myself a bigger, better, more well-rounded person for knowing them. "I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen." I'm the type of person that hates knowing there are corners of this Earth I haven't yet seen, that there are people I still have yet to meet.

Don't get me wrong. There are people I have experienced that I could do without. People who have broken my heart over and over, but that I continued to go back to - an addiction, Hemingway's whiskey. "Forget your personal tragedy. We are all bitched from the start, and you have to be especially hurt like hell before you can write seriously. But when you get the damned hurt, use it - don't cheat with it." There are people in my life that I have let go, the ones who got away. There are people who I have taken for granted, prematurely cast judgement upon, let my eyes be opened by. I always try to convince myself that I am my own person, but just as much as Hemingway will forever be defined by his whiskey, I will always carry around pieces of all of the people I meet.

I hate to love people, in a way similar to that which I imagine Hemingway hated to love his whiskey. I don't enjoy watered down people. I love people who, while they might burn a little on the way down, teach me valuable lessons. I may never leave a legacy quite as strong as his, but it won't stop me from trying. Live hard, die hard - this one's for him.

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."

- Ernest Hemingway

"Popular" Culture?

I've been told time and time again that I was born an old soul, and I have no doubt in my mind that there is much validity in that statement. I'd rather read F. Scott Fitzgerald than Cosmo, and I spend more money at J.Crew than Forever 21. I keep a journal and prefer handwritten letters, I am in a relationship that is based on more than boozy weekends and Instagram posts. Maybe this is why I am in such complete opposition with what society considers "pop culture".

I don't keep up with the Kardashians. I don't care about what drugs Justin Bieber is doing this week. I couldn't care less about what new stunt Miley Cyrus has come up with to seek attention. None of those things concern me even a fraction of how much they seem to engulf people my age. Sometimes I look at my generation, and it all makes sense why we're Generation Y. Literally, why?! I've harped on this before, but this time my perspective is different.

After seemingly the longest semester of my college career (I understand why they call it a sophomore slump now), I came back after Christmas break ready to make the comeback of the year. I've been seeing things in a completely different light, and maybe even a little out of my element. Have I grown out of touch with the way things are these days? Have I become so focused on the rest of my life that I have forgotten the here and now? I like to think that I haven't. I still have more fun than I know what to do with, I say yes to opportunities, I'm truly living the dream. But I still find myself shaking my head at things I see... In person, on campus, on the weekends, on social media. Now, don't get me wrong - we all make questionable decisions sometimes. I mean.. It's college. In no way am I pointing fingers. But I can't help but wonder what is going through the mind of people my age when they do some of the things they do? 

College might be the best years of your life, but they are not the only four years of your life. Remember why you're here. We're here to make friendships, connections, learn (do we have to???), and prepare yourself for the rest of your life. We hear people constantly harping on us to be aware of what we post on social media, because our future employers are watching. It's so easy to blow it off because "out of sight, out of mind." But in all reality, there are more than just future employers watching. Your family is watching, your friends (and frenemies for that matter) are watching, God is watching. Do you want their impression of you to be a lush who wears provocative outfits and dances on tables every weekend? I mean, maybe you do. And if you're one of those people, you do you. 

Even more so than just the choices we make, we have to keep in mind that they are our choices. No one else's. This is what frustrates me more than anything about my generation. Why is it that we feel it is completely okay to blame others for our choices? No, it probably isn't your professor's fault you failed chemistry - it's probably because you chose to go out to a party on the night before your final instead of studying. No, it isn't the officer's fault for pulling you over and charging you with a DUI - it's your fault for putting the innocent lives of others in the path of danger. There are countless things that we do, big and small, that we try so hard to blame others for. Myself included. But this isn't where the road ends. 

This is just where the road begins. We all make mistakes. We all do things that we regret, and we wish we could take back. But, everything in life is either a blessing or a lesson. I propose that we take matters into our own hands, and start learning from our lessons. You don't have to Bono or Bill Gates to change the world. Change has always come from pissed off young people. Do yourself a favor, do the world around you a favor. Take charge in this life, and make a change for the better. You might just surprise yourself with what you can accomplish. Maybe you'll even change the face of what "popular" culture is. But if you don't? You'll still change your life. 

Weeds

When gardening, we are taught to "weed", or to remove the weeds that attempt to take over the beautiful flowers we try so hard to grow. Weeds take over the food and water supply of our real plants, block out sunlight if they get too big, and can even cut off the roots of the beautiful flowers - leaving them to wilt and die. 

It's a funny thing to consider in the dead of winter, weeding out a garden that is. But I've been giving a lot of thought to the theory behind weeding, and how it is necessary in more facets of our lives than just our gardens. For a long time, I have let the negativity of pernicious people take over my mind and heart. I let myself become so consumed with the opinions of these people, and the value that they place on me, that I forget who I have worked so hard to become. 

I know in my heart of hearts that I am living each day of my life to the fullest, because we only get one chance at this life. I make mistakes, I curse, I oversleep and miss class sometimes. I have hurt people who are close to me, and I have missed opportunities to tell people I loved just how much they meant to me. I'm a sinner, and I come from a long line of sinners like me.  

So, in 2014, it's time to do some weeding of my own. Weed out the people in my life who only serve to judge me and bring me down. Weed out the people who feel the need to belittle my dreams and ambitions, people who don't want me to succeed. Weed out the people who passive aggressively voice their negative opinions of me on social media, unfollow, unfriend, delete. 

The grass isn't always greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it. People will always believe what they want to believe, and I believe that it is time to water my flowers - not my weeds. 

A rainy day, lost luggage, tangled Christmas lights

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."

- Maya Angelou

You will meet someone who sees a rainy day as a waste and a reason to complain. This is the person you are disgusted by at the airport counter, yelling at berating the innocent girl standing behind the counter who clearly had nothing to do with his luggage being lost. He will throw a fit over tangled Christmas lights, and probably hate Christmas decorations in general because he is so quick to get his tinsel in a tangle. He is so inconceivably attractive because you feel that he can be a "project", someone you can fix. "He just needs someone to see the beauty inside, someone to make him see the good in the world around him instead of only the negative," you find yourself thinking. Stop. Stop thinking, stop right there. Collect yourself, take a deep breath, and run as fast as you can in the other direction. He can't love you the way you want him to, because he will never see the beauty in you. All he will ever see are the negatives, the flaws, the half-empty glass. This knowledge will not make it any easier to move on because chances are he will be chasing after you, tangled Christmas lights in hand, yelling about how it is all your fault you didn't put them back on the reel. And you know what? Maybe you didn't put them back on the reel. And that's okay. Do not let him belittle you, your dreams, your goals, your ambitions. Put some red lipstick and high heels on, walk right on out that door, and never look back. 

You will stumble across someone who could never have lost luggage, because he never travels. This is the one who sleeps away a rainy day because,  "What else am I going to do?" Tangled Christmas lights? Forget it. He'd have to put down the Xbox controller long enough. But he has so much "potential". I hate to have to be the bearer of bad news, but potential is bullshit if there is nothing to back it up. You will not inspire him to get off his butt and get it in gear. If his idea of a "romantic date" is some McDonalds and the new Call of Duty? Climb the stairs of his parents' basement, be sure to thank them for having you on the way out, and feel free to slam the door behind you on the way out. You want to be a teacher, a lawyer, a doctor, a real estate agent someday. Why let yourself be dragged down by someone who has no ambitions for life? You owe it to yourself to set your standards higher than that. You deserve someone who will be a mover and a shaker, at least enough to move and shake himself into some dress clothes and out of his parents' house. 

You'll be surprised by someone who can laugh over tangled Christmas lights, because it is an excuse to make a memory with you. He will understand that lost luggage is replaceable, but will have the foresight to pack his valuables in a carry-on. Rainy days though, those are his favorite. Who doesn't love kissing and dancing in the rain? Even if he is a freak who doesn't, he'll do it anyway - because he knows you love it. Maybe he doesn't have his life completely together, but let's be honest, who does? If he wants to be a better person for you, don't let him go. This one will have ambition, drive, a positive outlook on life, and if you're really lucky, a smile that can melt your heart when the corners even just begin to turn upwards. He will give you the greatest gifts you've ever received. No, I don't mean he will buy you a trip to the stars, diamond earrings, or an island in the sun. (But if he does, be sure to thank him, of course). He will give you his heart, his love - everything he has to offer. Just remember that because he can laugh off tangled Christmas lights, and deal with a new wardrobe, and even dance in the rain, it doesn't mean he's perfect. None of us are. 

You can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. You can try to fix the relationship full of toxicity with kind words and loving gestures. You can work your hardest to inspire the lazy bum (or scum-sucking pig from hell, in the words of my greatest mentor). You can spend every day of your life trying to do things for other people, to no avail. Whatever helps you sleep at night. But if it doesn't?

You can spend your days deciding how you would deal with a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas lights. Then, and only then, can you find someone who deals with them just the way you do. Someone who can give you the greatest gift of all - his heart.