Looking beyond the cup

I'm an only child. Not only that, I'm the youngest of all my cousins. And the real kicker? I'm the only girl.

All my life I have struggled to be able to form strong bonds and healthy relationships with females. Do I blame it on the way I was raised, my family demographics, or even my personality? No. To be honest, I wouldn't feel right "blaming" anything for this struggle.

You're probably reading this thinking, "Okay, but what does it matter then?"

I promise you, it does. 

I was lucky enough to have a handful of close girl friends growing up, but only maybe two I felt truly connected to. I tried so hard to be like everyone else, to have a best friend that I could be absolutely inseparable from. "Two bodies, one soul," type friendship. But, no matter how hard I tried it was to no avail.

Maybe I wasn't meant to have a best (girl) friend in my hometown, because there's a chance I never wold have ended up where I am today. I mean, think about it. I'm from a town of 2,100. People don't just leave. They go to school at the same college, or within an hour or so, as their "best friend".

Well... No one from my high school goes to Louisville. Or within 5 hours or so, for that matter. But by coming here, I've gained some of the greatest friends, sisters, brothers, partners in crime, and supporters that any girl could ever ask for.

"You just pay for your friends." 

"All Greeks do is party." 

"Bunch o' stuck up, snooty rich kids living off Daddy's money." 

Don't worry, I've heard it all. Being Greek isn't always the best way to gain the acceptance of your non-Greek classmates, but it's more than worth the abuse we sometimes take.

I couldn't be prouder to be part of a community that accounts for the highest GPA's on campus, along with a graduation rate of over 10% higher than the rest of the university. That all but 2 of this great nation's Presidents have been a part of. That raises approximately $7 million dollars a year for charity. That sent 11 of it's own on the Apollo.

Less than 2% of a Greek's college expenses go to their dues. If I'm paying for my friends, I'm not paying nearly enough for the other amazing opportunities I've been blessed with through it all.

When the towers fell, the nation stood up.

"Only two defining sources have offered to die for you - Jesus Christ and the American soldier. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom."

Twelve years and just a little under two hours ago, I was sitting in Mrs. Harsh's second grade classroom, patiently waiting to pack up my things and go home to play. She asked us to help her pass out spelling tests, and we obliged - blissfully unaware of the news that was about to shape our lives forever. I distinctly remember her telling us, "Now, you may hear kids talking on the buses on the way home, so I want to tell you first. A plane flew into the World Trade Center today. Everything is going to be okay, so don't worry about a thing."

I stood there with those spelling tests in my hand, listening. I understood that something very bad had happened, but I didn't understand so I just went back to passing out the tests and went home like any other day. I remember my parents hugging me just a little tighter and a little longer than usual that night. I remember that night and the next few days, when I found out just how bad things really were. I remember worrying about my aunt who worked at the Pentagon, a boy who interned with my Dad who now lived in NYC, a family friend who was in the Air Force.

I can tell you something though, I don't remember what happened three months ago, let alone anything else from 12 years ago. It amazes me how much that one moment, that seemed so insignificant at the time, would truly change my life forever.

It's so easy to be patriotic on days when we're expected to... Memorial Day, Flag Day, July 4th, Labor Day, you name it. This year at UofL, Labor Day Weekend was devoted to theme parties thrown by fraternities. While it is always fun to dress up with your friends, I couldn't bring myself to attend a single one. Nope, I didn't step foot in a single one. There is just something that irritates me about people who act patriotic for a weekend, but would never so much as consider joining the military. 

My ex-boyfriend is currently deployed, and one of my best friends is in the Army and stationed in Alaska. A close friend of mine is leaving for Air Force basic training next month, and my cousin is enlisting in the Air Force as we speak. I carry a yellow ribbon on my backpack, and I say a special prayer for them each and every night. I'm in the process of volunteering with Adopt A Platoon, and I couldn't be more excited about it.

Patriotism is more to me than a theme party or a t-shirt with the American flag on it. It is the cold reality that people I love and care about are fighting for this great nation. It is standing behind them, wearing red on Fridays, and praying until the last one comes home. 

That big question

It feels like every time I meet someone new, they'll ask me to tell them about myself. I've never really known how quite to answer that.. Should I tell them the basics - my age, education, job, hometown, etc.? Or should I really tell them about me? I suppose I'll let you be the judge of that, and "tell you about myself".

I was born and raised in a small (read "almost non-existent") town in rural Pennsylvania, named Hadley. We have a population of just a little over 2,000. I went to the only school in town, one that sometimes was dubbed a "one-room schoolhouse," because we had one building for all the students K-12. To give you a better idea, it is neighbored by a corn field, an alpaca farm, a forest, and a community playground. Then, when I graduated high school in 2012, I decided it would be a good idea to move 426 miles from home, where I literally knew one person, and attend the University of Louisville. And I honestly couldn't be happier.

I'm 19 years young, as of July 7th of this year. I'm clearly a kid at heart. I love hot tea and classic novels. I'm a roller coaster junkie. My tastebuds have done almost a 180˚ turn around in the past year. I could talk your ear off if you let me, but most people realize quickly not to get me started on politics. I was a dancer for fifteen years, and am ecstatic to be able to perform in my studio's recital again this coming spring. I play with my hair when I'm thinking hard, and I've recently began to be able to bite my tongue rather than my foot.

I'm literally probably the goofiest person that you will ever come across in your life. I'm awkward and sassy. I love pretty things and clever words, and especially clichés. More times than not I believe my life should be one big soundtrack, because I listen to songs that fit it on repeat. I'm an only child, but I've always wished I had a big brother. I work at a law firm, and someday I hope to go to law school to become a corporate lawyer. I have recently developed a love for lacrosse and running.

I'm a proud Kappa Delta, and I can honestly say it was my best decision in addition to coming to the University of Louisville. Speaking of which, I live here now. I have an apartment, and I have truly become a Bourbon Country girl (although, there is a Pennsyltucky part of me I'll never be able to get rid of, even if I wanted to). I'll be celebrating my 1-year anniversary with the Derby City just a few days from now, on August 10th. I probably wouldn't have loved it here nearly as much if it weren't for my sisters though. We fight sometimes and don't always agree on things, but there is no one I'd rather have by my side through it all. I have been pretty blessed to have met my current boyfriend, Nick, as well.

I love people, and I love hearing their stories. I love fiction novels. Writing is an outlet for me that was inspired by a woman very special to my life, that I unfortunately lost in October 2011. My life is a real hot mess sometimes, but my wit and charm saves me. I truly believe I'm a Princess, and that's how I go through my day-to-day life. I built my foundation on absolute rock bottom, and I've had nowhere to go but up. I've lost it all, and I've been broken into pieces. The one thing I can truly say though, is that my spirit has never been broken, no matter what other pieces of me have.

I invite you to join me on this journey through my so-called life, now that you "know a little bit about me." I may stumble, and I may fall, but I'll do it with my head held high.


John Michael Montgomery said, "Life is a dance, learn as you go." And that's just what I plan to do.